Real life. 

A fan emailed me this earlier. The accuracy makes me cringe and laugh at the same time.  

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@dajanagudic

Marketing tip: Your last name could be the slogan to your profession #DajanaGoodDick did #larrytheceo buy you another one? #WhatDoesYourWorstWeekConsistOf #YourSponsorNotPayingYourPhoneBill #OfCourseYouHadToThrowTheRolexLogoInThere #HumbleBragging #WhatDoYouDoForALiving #TagThatSpecialSomeone #TooBadYouCantReplaceYourMoralsNorDignity #TagTheSponsor

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From scamming to scammed. Sorry Kathy 

? Broke sponsor Alert: @i_am_shag is reckless. Out here booking these #Trollops and not paying them ?? Booking for a “talent” ? #DidntKnowTakingSelfies And #AssPicsWasATalent #ColdWorld #IGuessHeOwesMoneyToHisReUpToo #DrugsAintSellingHuh #JamalTheDrugDealerTakingLs #TheTrollopsUnite why can they just take him to court then.. #OhWait ???? and Kathy is a convicted felon #YouRobbingPeopleTooHoe #TagTheSponsor

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What business are you in

What kind of business are you in? #CouldntStealMyMoralsIfYouTried #BusinessTripsHuh #YepWeGetIt #YouWorkForSabra #HumanBillboard #HummusCounter #HumanDiaper #OhYouModelHuh #ShowUsALegitModelCampaign #AlsoShowUsYourW2 #EmployedByMohammed #WorkingForTheHummusCartel #MovedToLAToBecomeAMovieStar #ButBecameAHummusStar #NewActressStarringIn #50ShadesOfHummus #AlsoStarringIn #BottleRatAcademyMusical #ThisIsScience #HoecialStudies #TagTheSponsor

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Welp. 

Welp. #NoShameInTheGame #WhenSheWantsToFlauntToCoHoesShesSponsoredButIsAfraidTheyMightTakeHim #ShesInLoveWithTheMomo #SellingPussyNotSoLowLow #AllTheseSurgeriesBeGivingHoesTheDonkeyKongLook #HamShaped #HummusBukkakeCertified #BottleRatAcademyHonorRoll #SponsoredBySabra #HoecialStudies #Hoethematics #TagTheSponsor

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I’ll be in Warsaw this coming weekend 

Lost a bet with a buddy of mine.  If lost I had to book a ticket to Poland. Since we’ve been all over Polish news, national tv and radio, I have to spend a weekend in Warsaw wearing the “I don’t sponsor” shirt. So if any of you fuck head …

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Swag to Dubai 

Mohammed is bring the hummus to you #BottleRatAlumnis09 #BookingInBioHuh #WhatWeBookingYouFor #HummusCartelSargeants #StrategicAngleToAvoidMomosReflection #TravelingOftenButNoSignsOfAJob #HowDoYouDoIt #MultiplePicturesAlone #TheDiaperOnTheLeftLooksWorried #HummusFacials #SoonToBePokedLikeAKabbob #AhmedRubbingHisHandsLikeBirdManWhileChuggingLaxatives #TheyExpectUsToBelieveTheyAffordThatLifestyleLol #PussyGotMoreMilesThanScoobyDoosMysteryVan #BothPussiesGotMoreMilesThanAllTheGoldRushRalliesCombined #HoldUpWaitAMinuteYallThoughtIWasFinished #TrollopIsMoreRedThanCarrotTopsPubes #SkinMatchingTheFlags #ButTheyBadBitchesHuh #BetMoneyBothSleepOnAirMatressesBackHome #30kSaysYoudServeMeYourChestLikeASilverToiletPlatter #Ether #HoecialStudies #Hoethematics #Trigohoemetry #ThisIsScience #TagTheSponsor

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Doesn’t work that way 

Tagging your Co-Sponsorette doesn’t count. Just because she sealed the deal with #LarryTheCEO and was allowed to bring a friend doesn’t mean she’s sponsoring you. The main guy behind vocodrink is from Dubai?? #DontTryToBeFunnyToHideTheFactYoureTrolloping #ModelingMustBePayintGoodHuh #20kFlightsButYourIncomeBarelyReaches30kYearly #HowSway #INeedAnswers #WhatElseDoYouDoOtherThanModelingHuh #TellMe #IllWait #OhAndIts #TagTheSponsor #GetItRightYouTurkeySandwhich #LarryTheCEOIsABusinessMan #DoubtHellSpend20kToJustHangOut #ButOfCourseYouExpectUsToBelieveOtherwise #HoecialStudies #Hoethematics #Trihoenometry …

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Yay or nay 

Confused sponsorette. Do you guys think she’s taking the bait? #TagTheSponsor 

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